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What's The Plan?

4/27/2014

4 Comments

 
Quick disclaimer: this post features bodily fluids, mental health and almost swearing so read no further if  you're a) not into graphic details or b) my dad...

When I had Sam my birth plan was a bit, well a lot, vague. There was so much conflicting advice for a first time mum to be that I couldn't always sift out the good from the not so good.

So I went with two key points. The first was no back labour - I couldn't lie on my back for the last trimester without whimpering in pain so didn't see any logic in doing it for the most physically demanding challenge of my life.

The second was no diamorphine but that went out of the window when the intensity of the contractions changed during the transition phase and I panicked.

I stuck to the first point though, when I was woozy with the drugs and sleeping in four minute intervals between contractions, the midwife and Euan manoeuvred me onto my side and the rest of the time I was on my feet or crouching. Gravity was my friend, I had a short labour with no complications and no stitches. (Don't hate me, it was pregnancy karma, a reward for 8 months of vomiting and 3 months of pelvic and lower back pain.)

Because the first labour was fairly quick and efficient and second babies generally come quicker, a home birth was in the back of my mind from relatively early on this time. As well as not delivering a baby on the side of the road, I was seduced by the idea of minimum upheaval. I would have my own things to hand without deciding what to pack, I would have that amazing post delivery cup of tea in one of my own mugs and I would have my own bathroom handy for that first shower.

I also quite wanted the privacy of our own home for those first beautiful skin to skin moments and feeding. Our experience at the hospital last time was by no means awful or overly clinical but I felt hot and uncomfortable and every time I thought I would have two moments to gaze quietly at the boy or grab a ten minute snooze, someone inevitably walked in to check him or me or offer more tea and toast.

Actually, the tea and toast part was brilliant, a key part of my home birth would have been a loaf of white bread and naughty butter on standby for toasting and my mum wielding the teapot.

I've been in what would politely be described as a "low mood" this week. I'm not polite though so I'll put my hands up and admit to have been in a sh*tty mood. It's not what I'd call depression, I know what that looks like and I'm not there yet. But it's getting there and that's a bit of a blow.

It turns out that people who have postnatal depression have a 50% chance of antenatal depression in subsequent pregnancies. Oh great, thanks hormones. Also, I think some of it might be down to either puking or wanting to puke for six months.

But my up and down, slightly nutty behaviour is mostly down to feeling like the rug got pulled out from under me. The operation to remove my cyst and the recovery time have made me doubt birth can be a straightforward experience. I've been dwelling far too much on what-ifs and also on all the things that I can't do right now.

The biggest one being that lovely, slightly hippy dippy homebirth I'd been counting on. In fairness, no medical professional has come out and said that I shouldn't have the baby at home and my consultant has reassured me that she sees no reason why I can't deliver in the midwife led unit of the maternity ward. But I'm officially wimping out. I want the safety net of doctors being two minutes away if they're needed.

At the same time, I'm terrified that the delivery will turn into a long succession of medical interventions.

So after a good chat with an excellent midwife and consultant I'm taking ownership of the mood I'm in. The depression will have to be nipped in the bud with the right medication so that Sam and Euan and the new one won't have to experience zombie-Heather.

And I'm going to write a birth plan that features minimal monitoring, labouring in a pool (I think I'll get over my "is the water clean enough?" heebie jeebies when I'm in the moment) and not letting myself panic. Then I'm going to give Euan a copy of it so he can gently remind me of those good intentions when I panic anyway and start asking for the good narcotics....
4 Comments
Sarah
4/28/2014 12:09:15 am

Last time I went for no diamorphine and no forceps unless an emergency. I had out down about a water birth however when I was in Labour it was the last thing I wanted! Will repeat the same things for 2nd time around. I feel like you write these things down but until labours here you can't make real decisions as you never know how it will happen!

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Heather Carmichael
4/28/2014 01:53:34 am

Thanks Sarah,

I was a ventouse (spelling?!) delivery myself so thought it might have been a possibility but Sam was very straight forward and arrived promptly, he gets that amenability from his dad!

Hopefully, I'm just over thinking and everything will be as straight forward as last time! My mum reckons I'll have the baby while they're filling the pool!

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bumpbridge
4/28/2014 03:55:08 am

I have to say i'm a pro home birther, and can't recommend it enough. I have 2 children both born at home. I also had a relatively short and easy first labour. it was classed as 4 hrs from start to finish. I had planned to have my first in hospital, but after a visit I decided against it. Being at home was lovely. I had 2 midwives dedicated to my care along with a third trainee midwife. There was no disappearing because they were busy or not knowing who i was, or my preferences/birth plan. I Borrowed a birthing pool (although didn't find much relief in that) and used my tens machine a lot. I had gas and air and I also had morphine on prescription as a midwife is allowed to give this to you at home provided you have got it from the doctors. (this is often unknown - even to drs!) (I didn't use it)Statistics show that the less intervention received the less likely you are to need assisted births so another great reason to have a child at home. it also shows that there is nothing that can happen to you or your baby that would be life threatening if you are within 30 mins of a hospital. So again you're close enough to medical care should you need it. My 2nd child was also born at home. A much easier and almost pain free birth classed as less than 2 hrs for all 3 phases! I got to have a bath, have coffee and toast in my bed and surprise my parents by skyping them with their new grandson. It was the most amazing experience of my life and I totally think you're just getting cold feet, so be true to yourself and stick to your plan and go for a home birth. You can change your mind at any point as the midwives reminded me and if i'd wanted to go into hospital they would have just phoned an ambulance for me. As for the depression statistics phooey - make the decision you are a strong independent women and don't let a statistic make you feel down- you are in control of your own destiny. ( yes I know people get depressed and it doesnt mean you wont but I don't always find being told you should be depressed is a good thing) I was numerically changed in several ways and under the consultant but I had the easiest most straight forward pregnancy of all my friends so it just goes to show we're all individuals and shouldn't be pigeon holed. Apologies for long reply xxx

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Heather Carmichael
4/28/2014 04:16:25 am

I was totally in love with the idea of a home birth and had done lots of reading. The stats about minimal pain relief and intervention were really appealing. However, the night I had to rush to hospital with the ovarian cyst giving me so much pain I thought I was headed for premature labour means it's really important to me that I have the safety net of a special care baby unit just around the corner.

My hubby was such a good birth partner for the first one that I need him to be confident too and for that we need to be where he perceives baby and I are safest. Have you got any tips to help us bring a home birth "feel" to the MLU?

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    Hi, I'm Heather and this is the WGM blog. Some posts are copies of my Dunfermline Press articles and some are my random musings!

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