Watch Badgers

10/12/2014

This blog post is about something that happened nearly 6 weeks ago...it's the most up to date I've felt in ages! We're in a fairly standard routine of feed Leo, feed Sam, change Leo, change Sam (sometimes he pretends to be interested in potty training to raise my hopes but then he forgets where pee pees go), play with Leo, play with Sam, chuck everyone in the car or into the pram/buggy board or baby wrap and slowly toddle so we can actually say we went somewhere that day. And then Euan gets home and I'm tired and he's tired and there's a load of washing in the machine and dry stuff needing folded and stuff in the tumble dryer (the guilt is enormous but not as big as the relief at not having washing hung up all over the house when it rains) and the dishes need done and the meals need planned and the dust bunnies need rounded up and oh jeez, I left the rabbit out in the dark again and I want to shower but Leo wants to eat and it's all going to start again in 6 hours even if I go to bed right now.

So, we stopped. We rammed everything in the car, had a brief argument about needing a bigger car and a long argument about everything else (I say argument but really it's just me letting off steam and Euan being reasonable) and when the argument was over we had arrived at my haven, Press Mains Farm and were settling into the kind of country cottage I hope we'll live in for real one day!

We've been to Press Mains twice before and it was such a relief to reset and remember why we're a family. We don't always get caught up in the mundane, I'm not always worrying about what everyone must think when they see the domestic chaos we preside over, Euan isn't always working manic hours, I'm not always writing thank you notes when I should be sleeping.

Sometimes we're a family who love watching birds, tramping around a farm to admire the puddles and tractors and chat to the cows. We're raising a boy who tells farm animals to put their hoods up when it rains and yells at rabbits, "get back here cheeky boy" and proclaims his dinner was "not bad at all" with all the gravity of an old man. We're a family with a baby who smiles almost all the time he's awake and feeds so well that I'm fairly sure he squished the hole in his heart closed with the weight of his gorgeous cheeks.

We use washable everythings to reduce our carbon footprint, our toddler can sort recycling, we try our best to be kind to everyone and we talk about the big bad world in a way that will make our boys think of difficulties as challenges rather than problems. And when I take a step back and realise all this instead of giving myself a hard time, I look all glowy and at peace...

So really, I should do that more often. And write this more often rather than just thinking it. And hopefully, wake up in a room like the one below, where you can watch Badgers on the cctv, because well, it's good for the soul.